And in more ways than one.
I sold them a TV some time back. How far back is a point of contention as they claim it's within the thirty day period when we cover the warranty. After the first thirty days the manufacturer has complete responsibility for the warranty. We haven't had this particular TV to sell in well over thirty days and they don't have their copy of the invoice to back up their claim. The TV, according to them, "made a huge blowing up sound" the previous night and since then hasn't worked. From that description it sounds like the power supply shorted out. It's a simple repair, the replacement part is stocked by all repairmen and the repair itself usually just takes an hour or so.
So OK, not a problem, it can be taken care of. A simple phone call to the manufacturer will get the local repair guy out to them and the TV will get fixed. No, that's not good enough. They want another TV RIGHT NOW or they want their money back. Well the TV is no longer made, we don't have any left over, and besides you still haven't proven that it's still our responsibility and not the manufacturer's. But we're willing to help you with what we can help you with.
It's at this point that we realize that both of them are inebriated. Actually they are drunk. It's a Sunday afternoon about 12:30 and these two are not a couple of mimosas at brunch tipsy, they are can't get out of bed without a shot of Jack Daniels drunk. So we realize it's time to start using small words and simple concepts in order to get our point across to them. But even that doesn't seem to work. On and on they cry about how the television cost so much and how I told them it almost never breaks (key word they seem to be missing is "almost") and how it was somehow all our/my fault.
At this point I'm willing to concede that the television probably did have a fault in it. It probably did break down on it's own and through no fault of theirs. But it's a machine and any machine is capable of breaking down. "All that is made by man is subject to all of man's failings" I think I once read (it's either Thomas Aquinas or Thomas Edison). This gives them no comfort. They are here to pick a fight because in their world it's better to pick a fight then work to fix the problem.
Better to go in guns blazing, shoot first and ask questions later, make the world safe for democracy, subdue the Axis of Evil...oh pardon me, that's America, or at least the Fox News watching segment of America.
And that's part of the crisis about the television. After the drink no longer can dull the senses, after the bombardment of work and taxes and the guy next door who let's his tree drop pine needles into their yard, after all the little irritants that make up daily life, they want to be able to sit staring at small phosphorous pixels and pretend that the world can be right if only House can be your doctor or James Spader can be your lawyer or Glenn Beck can be your leader. A problem can be fixed in sixty minutes (less twelve minutes for commercials) and all you have to do is sit back and watch.
For the unbearably long period of 24 hours they will not be able to do that. They will be without their best friend in the world, the one who doesn't mind them having another glass or three and who doesn't impart knowing glances at the recycling bin full of fifth bottles. This is the friend who tells them what they want to hear and shows them what they want to see, provided of course that it's tuned to the right station. They've been locked out of Fantasyland and the palpable fear emanating from them, the one that is driving this hissy fit they are throwing in a public place, is that they might have to deal with reality instead of a reality show.
As it is, they exhaust themselves and acquiesce to having a repairman come out the next day. They walk out the door and I think to myself how I hope someone else drove them to the store. I look out the window and see them driving off in a gas guzzling SUV larger than the tanks of many armies in the world.
Sigh. They'll probably blame the drunk driving arrest on me as well.
